The Do’s and Don’ts of Swinging

Although the majority of swinging will end up involving lovemaking and getting frisky with each other’s partners, it isn’t all about just that. Swinging is about building up the atmosphere of warmth and belonging.

Whether you are at a party with another couple or with another person for a threesome, you will be having a great time eating, drinking and chatting. To get into the comfort zone, building camaraderie with someone is essential to get down on the knees later.

Swingers can differentiate between fun and friendship. The love and companionship provided by their existing relationship is bare and transparent. There are no rough edges anywhere and they make sure of that or there may be trouble.

Thus, though swingers may have many sexual relationships, only a single emotional relationship exists. Although close friendships are formed within the community, swingers often feel nothing is more important than their own partner. The friendships and companionship among swingers strengthen the primary stem of the relationship rather than damage it.

Swingers lay claim that lovemaking is more intimate because they are with a partner who encourages their fantasies. The partner is so confident that jealousy is not an issue. Swingers also vouch that swinging makes infidelity less likely, as they know they can have physical contact with others with their partner’s consent.

Various responses exist to those who object to swinging on the basis of faith. Many swingers feel their activities in their own homes or private clubs are not for others’ justification. Others believe that as long as they consider their relationships sacred, playing does not contradict the sanctity and is consistent with spiritual values. Two additional considerations should be made when it comes to swinging. The first is that the couple defines cheating. As long as the couple have a definition and stay within their boundaries, no cheating would occur. Secondly, some argue that adultery is incongruent with the original definition.

Another common response to moral and philosophical objections is that there is a difference between physical intimacy and love. Contradictorily, this is one of the objections that religious groups have, that this distinction should not exist, meaning both physical intimacy and love should be the same physical agenda.

Be truthful and honest when you talk to your partner about your feelings. If you feel jealous of your partner, or have any other uncomfortable feelings about the whole sexual step, tell your partner. If you don’t, they will only come out later and be much more awkward and damaging.

Once you get to the swingers’ joint, be yourself and don’t pretend to be someone else. Being friendly, good-natured and exuding a warm aura has a positive effect on everyone. Leaving your inhibitions at home, both physical and social is a must as it can interfere with your swinging pleasure.

You can’t expect to get much out of a swingers’ party if you aren’t prepared to put much in. Stay close to your partner but not in a clingy way as it may ward off others from approaching either of you. Know your needs, interests and desires and let everyone know about them. Practice safe sex and don’t go beyond limits, even if you intend to try new things.

Invite someone you’re interested in, in a clean manner and leave the decision-making to them. Don’t ask them for reasons or explanations, even if it’s your partner. Don’t carry on your sweet talking to convince someone if they’ve declined. You’d only drive a nail through your relationship. Don’t overindulge in alcohol. Don’t take someone who isn’t interested and not informed, about the actual course of the night.

Don’t take a ‘ticket’ to a swingers’ party (a ticket is the one who goes just to get you in and not to take part). Don’t disturb the swinging pleasures of others. Don’t be rude and try to cheat or lie. Don’t give personal details to anyone at the party if you aren’t comfortable. Don’t be vague about your desires. Don’t cross other people’s limits.

Swinging isn’t for everyone. People need to discuss between themselves, the different factors including jealousy, self-esteem, or any relationship problems, prior to entering into the swinging lifestyle. If any of these areas are of major concern to either person, then chances are, you aren’t ready to enjoy the swinging lifestyle and all of its benefits.

It is to be noted that swinging is to enhance your relationship, not to repair or rebuild it. A couple receptive to new and different sexual experiences will begin to explore different avenues of shared sexual fulfillment to continue to grow together. Couples who want to find a way to reconnect physically and emotionally are more likely to make it through a swingers’ party together.

It provides sexual variety, adventure, and the opportunity to live out fantasies as a couple without secrecy and deceit. But never ever join a swinging community and use that as an excuse to cheat on your partner.