I am wondering how to start a conversation with a girl, what do I say to find out more about her, so that I can build the conversation from there?
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How to Start a Conversation With a Woman — And Keep It Going
Conversations generally have a natural flow. What you’ll find, at first, is that the woman probably won’t engage as much in the conversation as what you’ll have to. You want to be careful with this.
At first how to start a conversation with a girl requires you to take the lead. You want to take most of the responsibility for the conversation, but at the same time, you don’t want to ask too many questions. If you’re doing all the work and she’s really not putting any emphasis back into the interaction, then she isn’t investing anything. You want to steer clear of this situation.
One of the most important skills is getting really good at asking questions that promote conversation. These are open-ended questions, questions which can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” statement.
I’m wondering if you have a list of some of the basic questions that are not useful and that can kill a conversation. Maybe you have a few examples of questions that are more intriguing or open-ended, like you said?
For one thing, you probably want to stay away from the traditional questions, “Where do you live?” “What do you do for a living,” etc. Sure, there will be times where these kind of questions will arise, and that’s fine. At first, you really just want to make the person feel more comfortable and get a good flow of conversation happening. Don’t worry too much about getting too specific, in regards to your questions, but just start to really feel out the conversation.
It’s good to ask open-ended questions such as, “What’s been the highlight of your night so far?” as opposed to, “Have you been enjoying your night?” As you can notice in the comparison, one requires that she engages in giving much more information, while other can be answered with a “yes” or “no.” It’s very hard, when you get into these closed-off questions to be able to move things, conversationally, in a fluid way.
The next thing to recognize is being good at threading and getting comfortable threading. What threading really is about is being really punchy and recognizing some of the details in what someone has said. That helps to be able to move the conversation along in a really spontaneous way.
An example might be, “I went to the beach today, and I had ice cream.” Now, some of the key words there are “beach” and “ice cream,” and it gives you a good indication of how to move the conversation along.
A good reply to that might be, “I love going to the beach. It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten a really good tan.” Getting really good at being able to keep these threads nice and punchy and moving along with the information that a woman gives you, makes it a lot easier to really engage a woman in conversation and get more comfortable conversing with people.
What do you find challenging about starting a conversation with a woman? I’m interested to hear about your experiences!
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