Are you appear trying too hard or dependent on the outcome?

Dating and Attraction Tips: Are you appear trying too hard or dependent on the outcome?

Somebody who is outcome dependent is SEEKING attraction. This can
lead to a scenario where you end up trying harder and harder to generate
those indicators you’re looking for by spitting more and more game.

It’s like, “Oh, I spit my tightest line and it didn’t work… quick, spit another
before she loses interest… oh shit, that didn’t work either… spit another,
another!!!”

The end result? The chick becomes interested all right… ’cause you’re her
entertainment for the night.

She has no real interest in hooking up with you, but you’re an amusing
“dancing monkey” for her and her friends.

While it may be entertaining, the bottom line is: no chick wants to bang a
monkey. Unless they have some seriously weird fetish.

So yeah, they’ll show indicators of interest to keep you around, but when
closing time rolls around it’s, “Nice to meet you! Bye bye!”

Just another example of how CARING about the outcome of the
interaction causes you to fail. Ironic.

Another possible explanation that comes to mind would be that you’re not
moving the set forward.

Are you escalating things once the set is obviously open to your presence?
Or do you just stand there spinning your wheels, bombarding them with
attract material long past the point where they’re interested?

Indicators of interest are just that: they tell you they are INTERESTED,
nothing more.

Remember, it’s YOUR responsibility to escalate. These girls aren’t gonna
do it for you, except in RARE instances.

So, given these possible explanations, I’m gonna prescribe the following:

FIRST. Do everything you can to avoid the dancing monkey trap. That
means using the least amount of high octane material possible to get them
interested. Use some right off the bat, after your opener, to get them
hooked. After that, use it sparingly, as a tool to spike the energy of the
interaction when you sense it’s waning.

You want the girls to be CONTRIBUTIVE. In other words, not just
standing there listening to you and laughing. You still want to lead and
direct the conversation, but you need to make sure that it is in fact a
CONVERSATION, not just you giving a stand-up routine.

SECONDLY. Make sure you have a definite idea where you’re at and
where you want to go, then make sure that you’re constantly moving
things in that direction, slowly but surely.

Again, once you’ve hooked them, start getting physical (by degrees).
Simultaneously, start building rapport, both wide and deep. A lot of guys
think of the seduction process as being very linear, like “Attract-Then
Build Comfort-Then Get Physical”. What they don’t realize is that these
things must happen concurrently during the interaction, in harmony.

Anyway, if you’re just pumping buying temperature, it’s hard for them to
take you seriously… you become a sort of cartoon character.

Your comment about miscalibration isn’t off the mark. Pay more attention
to how you’re emotionally affecting the girls, and realize that at some
point, you actually have to stop playing a character and CONNECT with
them on some level.

Once you do that, you’ll start getting those verbal indicators of rapport. At
that point, get them into isolation and GO TO WORK.

Hope that helps… cheers.