A relationship with a Frenchman

I said I’d talk about this in the comments a couple of posts back, so here goes.

A Frenchman can fall into relationship territory very easily.

Now careful here, I’m not talking about the men you cross in the street that randomly say you’re beautiful and ask you for coffee. Tip: these guys are sleazeballs that just want to get in your pants.

No, I’m talking about a Frenchman that’s part of your circle of friends, a guy you may have bumped into at a party before. To put things in context, let’s say you bump into him again, you get chatting, you go for a walk in the moonlight, he kisses you and BAM, you’re in a relationship! Ta-dah!

I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. When a Frenchman kisses you, you are in an immediate exclusive relationship. He is expecting you to only see him. This does not mean that you are THE ONE or that you guys will stay together forever. It just means that right now you guys are a couple. It may last three weeks, it may last three months, it may last three years or more, or worst case scenario, it may just last that night… Yep, that last one is a tough one. Especially if you get caught up in the moment, sleep with your Frenchman and never hear from him again because your “relationship” had a 24-hour shelf life.

Now for an anglo, this is kind of bat shit crazy. I mean why would you be in an exclusive relationship with a guy you’ve just started dating. The whole point of dating is to date several guys, to look at your options. And the whole point of being exclusive is to build something with someone that you trust, are falling for, and care for. A kiss just can’t catapult you into that kind of exclusivity.

So what’s up with Frenchmen falling into (and out of for that matter) relationship territory so easily? Well, they’re all or nothing kind of guys. For starters, they’re very physical. If they like you, they want to show you. They want to kiss you, they want to have sex with you. Because it expresses how they feel quite simply. They’re also very vocal so they’ll woo you with I love you’s and flattery to no end.

But what does it mean? Is your fast-forward relationship going anywhere? Only time, your intuition and bit of common sense will tell. If a Frenchman is telling you he loves you after a week and is pushing you for sex, you may well smell a rat. Who wouldn’t.

The key is to slow the pace down as much as you can (but not too much or they’ll run). Date a few other Frenchman (you don’t need to tell them). Get to know them, see how you feel about them, enjoy yourself. And do what’s right for you on the sex front. If you want to wait until you know your chosen Frenchman is your boyfriend in your terms before doing the deed, there’s nothing wrong with that. On the contrary, you protect your heart from being hurt. Which is never a bad idea.